How To Manage Our Own Emotions
How to manage our own emotions.
There are emotions that help in our personal development and others that hinder our growth, we get overloaded or paralyzed. The latter are responsible for the irritability which becomes anger, sadness, depression, nervousness or panic, for example.
The main thing to change the way we feel is to change the way we think, because the mind is the one who puts words and gives voice to the emotions, so what we believe is what we will create emotionally. It is not the fact which makes us feel bad, but the way we perceive it. That´s why two people can feel the same event in their lives in a such diametrically opposed way…..
The mistaken or irrational beliefs and unrealistic expectations we face upset us when we see they are not feasible. The more rigid our beliefs are, the harder will be the negative impact when we see we cannot apply them.
Within these negative beliefs the most common ones are:
- a) “I have to be perfect…. I cannot be wrong…. I cannot allow anyone to criticize me…. I cannot fail “…. Nobody is perfect, therefore, failure is guaranteed. This fills us with anxiety and frustration. As always, this depends on our will to change which means accepting that we are human beings and learning to laugh at our own mistakes. This allows us to explore, exploit and develop our capabilities beyond what we thought possible. It is said that when one can laugh at himself, it implies that one has already overcome the problem and is on track again.
- b) “People should act like me.”.. “ If I were him I would never have done that.” …“It’s amazing that this person acts like that.”… “ I never expected that from him “”... .. Every human being is unique…. something that seems quite obvious but it makes us really angry when we see that what we get from others or what we see in their behavior is unacceptable for us …. This is another road which leads us to frustration … we need to understand that we cannot control or change others… On the other hand, why should we think we have the right to expect others behave the way we would or we want to? … letting them be and letting myself flow will let life surprise me and will take anguish and disappointment away from me.
- c) “Things must be the way I expect them to be”.” Life must be the way I see it”. … This belief will bring more frustration to our lives… Things do not happen just because… nothing is just by chance, and we are often the cause for the things to go wrong, as well as to go well ….
The universe has its own times, that´s why we find ourselves saying… “It is so great this is happening now and not before when I did not have the time to do it”…or….”Now I understand why I had to wait for this to happen”…..or….”The waiting was worth it because I can appreciate it now”…
The times “up there” are not the same times “down here” and while we are looking at the tree we miss the whole forest behind it where a big plan is arising for our lives…. The man thinks he has everything under control and that belief makes him feel safe, however, life eventually shows him how fragile we are when we have to face the changes in life …
After all life is change… everything is constantly changing, its cycles and its recycling things … then …. What makes us think that we can control everything? What makes us believe that we can be so omnipotent so as to believe that life will meet our expectations, rather to be ourselves having to adjust to it? …
After all the trees let themselves flow into the river of life, letting their leaves fall in autumn and getting dark in the winter, because their essences know that spring will bring new sprouts back…knowing that the secret to blossom is letting themselves flow….
All Light and Unconditional Love